I wish that I was as invisible

I wish that I was as invisible

[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in I've got troubled thoughts & self-esteem to match's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Monday, September 28th, 2009

6:30 pm

So, yeah.
Other than Big E trips, clothes shopping with my best friends, doctors appointments, gynocologist visits and ridiculous amounts of stress that almost lead to un-ending, crushing depression...

I've been nursing my spectacular finger wounds as a result of "wart-removal".

I think...that...I should have NEVER asked to have these warts removed, because they hurt more than they EVER DID.
And the liquid nitrogen? AGONIZING.

Here, let's have a tasty look at why I can't draw, do the dishes or type without hitting backspace forty times a minute:

( Yum, pus-y wound goodness! )

The last two were un-necessary. I just like my pants, lol.

<3

Yay for open wounds that could possibly lead to staph infection, YAAAAYY! <3
I had 5 bandaids on at the gym today. Can't be too careful.

I think I'm just going to...take the pain and draw, because there are some real demons screaming in me to be let out and I have about 5,000 commissions to finish.

f my life.

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

1:31 pm

Friends Only
I just deleted my Facebook account.

There are NO OTHER places to find me other than:

-Livejournal ( http://www.AngryPrncess.livejournal.com )
-deviantART ( http://www.AngryPrncess.deviantart.com )
-Furaffinity ( http://www.furaffinity.net/user/AngryPrncess )
-ArtSpots ( http://www.AngryPrncess.artspots.com )

My email is still the same.
My Msn is still the same.
I rarely, if EVER, use AIM. And only a few people know that.

As all of you know, this livejournal has been private for almost a year now.
If you would like to be added to my livejournal, please comment here with your username and I will gladly add you!

Thanks everyone. <3

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

2:39 pm

http://angryprncess.mybrute.com
http://valinne.mybrute.com
http://locksofpubus.mybrute.com
http://lucienna.mybrute.com

SO addicting! <3
When you're THAT cute, sense-less violence is kinda nice. <3

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

1:27 pm

She digs her nails into her naked chest
Miles of veins fan out like a road map
She pulls back the skin to show her ribs
That twinkle like shooting stars.

I seriously love M83. They're amazing!

Oh, and look what I made for L when he was sick two days ago:
( Read more... )

A pink panda!
I thought he had too many stuffed sheep...Kehehe! <3

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

5:26 pm

I'm not one for self-reflections, ...

Oh Jeeze....Kehehe....

I can't even write anything...mildly serious...because I'm on the phone with my brother and he just threw a brownie at my Mom...LOL.

My poor Mom...Eee! ...But, Oh God. Hearing them...laughing and screaming...

It's the best feeling in the World.

I love my family more than ANYTHING....anything! And I can't wait to move back home with them!

Oh...God! <3 Nothing compares to this.
Nothing!

There's nothing in the World, not even the combined words and actions of a thousand hateful people that could ever shake this amazing feeling that my brother, my friends and my family give me.
It's the greatest feeling in the Universe!

I love my life, who I am, everything we stand for...<3

Life is amazing; beautiful.

And I am just...so grateful for everything!

I love you all so very much...with everything within me...<3

My Princess...is coming to me.
OH GOD. We'll be complete!

Finally me, Lucien and my Princess!

AW! I am enamored, enthralled!

...Mmmm...MM...<3

glimpsed the foreboding end.

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

9:30 pm

you bimbos

2 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

10:32 am

I feel well enough to sit and write for a while today, so I thought I'd let everyone know that I miss them and I love them.

There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't reflect on all of the memories I have with my beloveds.
...Not a second that passes without thinking of...and missing you all.

I know that I have a-lot of responsibilities and I still owe a ton of artwork that needs to not only be finished but mailed out.
And I can't apologize enough for it.

If only there was a way I could...explain to you all the situation we are in...without making it hurt.
But there is no way...and I'd much rather leave you all in the dark on this one because the pain of knowing it will hurt much more than the confusion of not.

Just know...that I am doing better.
L is doing better...and this is something that will take a lifetime for some to recover from.
All we can do is take each day and...live it out, with every molecule inside of us...and find some kind of peace and happiness.

My headaches have not gone away...and it's a struggle for me to draw or type anything.
My only repreve is the early morning.
By afternoon I'm immobile from the pain in my eye and forehead.

I can only hope that with time...and less stress...I will be back to normal.

I haven't been sleeping well lately and last night I tossed and turned for hours, waking up to drink diet coke and than fall back into nothingness. But I can't go back to sleep because Kyra has the flu and the dog is being terrible...and there's just too much going on.

Flynn is going to give me a stroke...his teething is un-ending...and as much as it drives him crazy, his bad behavior because of it drives us ALL up the wall.

He needs constant attention or he'll destroy anything he can sink his teeth into.
We've already lost our house phone, books, blankets, a pair of leggings, shoes, slippers, tv cords...the list just goes on and on.

It's so much harder than raising a baby.
Babies don't have fangs.

He's also started a homosexual relationship with Chloe without knowing it. Chloe is a gay cat...and gets pleasure from the dog licking and biting him and it's so disgusting.
I actually filmed it because I have a feeling I may need to prove this later on.
...Ugh.

Mrmrmr...I feel sick.
I haven't been able to eat properly and it's really...upsetting me.
All this stress makes me want to fall back into bad habits...Make it so I don't have to eat anymore. Try and control the situation.

I know it won't work, but it's so tempting....Ugh.

I need something to keep my mind off of that.

All I want is to fall asleep in her arms. Have her beside us.
Take away her pain as well as ours...

The sun still shines and I laugh constantly and fill the house with my outrageous stories...
But there is just a point each day where I look back and ask "why"?
...

When will it stop?
When will all this...hurt end?

I just know...that I will live forever.
And we will live forever.

Because above all things, know matter how bad they hurt..We can rise above and feel the things we were meant to feel.
And I will fight this heartache until the end.

<3

3 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

12:44 pm

AFNALJFNAJLFHSWGOKW"gLW/

FKSFKSG...1!11!111

I love you...ILOVEYOUGUYS.

<3

7 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

1:33 pm

...Princess...

Where are you?

....am I too late?

1 Unicorn glimpsed the foreboding end.

Friday, October 10th, 2008

5:40 pm

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

<3

5 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

12:18 pm

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
AngryPrncess goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Little Bo Peep.
ancient_lies gives you 12 orange pineapple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
darkydespised tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
giantcatbear tricks you! You get a wet rag.
gnistra gives you 10 purple coconut-flavoured gummy bats.
lae_van gives you 10 light orange banana-flavoured nuggets.
lolirurismacker tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy!
merlefaux tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
solace_eternal tricks you! You get a wad of paper.
theburntcereal gives you 19 light orange cola-flavoured gumdrops.
x_thor gives you 19 light orange grape-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
AngryPrncess ends up with 57 pieces of candy, a wet rag, a piece of paper, and a wad of paper.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

10 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

2:34 pm

Lots of posts lately!
I've been making alot of posts lately, huh?!

Taken from Bastian

"Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes,
don't fix your hair...just take a picture. Post that picture
with NO editing. Post these instructions with your picture."
<3

( Read more... )

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

9:56 pm

3 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

9:39 am

HUGE POST!
First I'll start with some pictures of the summer, a really...embarrassing video of me, and some pictures of our room:

WARNING! I took these pictures of our room this morning after I exercised, the treadmill is in alot of them, and our room is EXTREMELY messy! Sorry for the mess!

<3

( Read more... )

And now I'll directly cut the story from Princess's journal, because Grandma is leaving in like 20 minutes and we need to help and stuff over here and stuff, so:

I can't believe how early I'm up right now...<3

6:30....L woke me up with his kisses.

...Oh, Rachel. The things we've been through these past three days.
If only you were there.
...But, actuality, you were.

You were our whole motivation for the crazy escapade we went on, on Sunday.

First, first...let me say this.
I've missed you so much this week, it was almost.....Mmr.
Almost unbearable.

You've been...all of our thoughts, and I find myself always talking about you, wondering about you, imagining when you come home....and when I embrace you....constantly.
Continually.

Thinking about wrapping around you in bed.
Kissing you, laughing with you.
Making you happier than you've ever been....<3

I love you more than any words could ever hope of explaining.
More than any person...can truly know, other than you and I.

I love you, Princess.
You are undeniably, my everything.
My lover, my hope, my strength, my inspiration, motivation, the beauty in all the terrifying things in the World.

I will always be here. I will protect and love you until the end of everything, and on and on.

We met a girl, Rachel.
A girl who had your lips.

We were at this town festival called the Apple Squeeze and well, everything about it was so cute and small-town-esh and autumn-y, and...lovely.
I was just loving everything about it.

((I had hot apple cider that filled my body with the taste and warmth and smell of..Autumn. I was autumn-incarnate in that moment, Kehehe...<3yumyumyum))

We went to this section that was using these old fashion apple squeezing machines that made cider and we were just looking around.
I, actually, wasn't paying attention to anyone in particular, when L told me to look a this girl who had an ELECTRIC purple hoodie on.

If it wasn't for him, I may not have even noticed, but when she turned to walk, she had lips....so close to yours, Princess.

Than it became like, this obsession to see her face. For no other reason but to see if it was really you.
She had black hair peaking out from under her hood and...white eyes.
Honest to God, white eyes.

She kept looking at me. She was looking right into Lu's eyes and she was smiling at me. It made me want you so badly. I wanted her to be you.

She stopped once, stealing glances like I was doing to her and she mouthed to this guy who was helping her..."She's Cute."

I almost vomited out my heart and insides.

We...well, we ended up walking away and she became our whole conversation.
I wanted to meet her because...I thought maybe she would be a good friend, and maybe we would have a new friend to share with you.

We were getting ready to go home, and I thought it would be better to walk home, since I love walking. <333

As soon as we did, L had...which, is SO rare for him, said we should go find her and talk to her.
I was so freaking nervous, my heart was pounding. I was about to approach a girl that, failing in comparison to you in every aspect, still had something about her that was undeniably drawing both of us towards her.

...And she had your lips.

Well, for the next 30 minutes, through hyper ventilation, we followed her through the crowd and back to the apple squeezing place.

I knew I had to be the one to approach her, because L was too nervous and he would back me up as soon as I initiated, but I was so scared. This girl was following me, looking at me, as much as I was looking at her.

I kept trying to get up the courage, and Lu's sister was helping me, telling me not to be nervous. I felt like a maniac, a stalker.

I knew that...there was some reason why I was feeling this, and I know I needed to do this, so...when she went to wash her hands, I started walking towards her. She took her hood off and shook her hair out and smiled at me...like, no tomorrow, and started walking towards me too.

She wasn't you. No-one...no-one cane be. I'm just hopelessly devoted to you, Rachel. Trying to make you real here.

All I could say when I saw her was, "I REALLY like your hair!"
And she smiled, and she has braces, and said "I REALLY like the way your dressed!"

And than I laughed with relief and told her we were looking at her from afar, and she said she was looking at us, but we were both too nervous to do anything about and than we hugged.

She's...the skinniest person I've ever seen. It was almost terrifying. I thought I'd crush her when I touched her.

L was telling her she had beautiful eyes, and I asked if they were contacts, and she said no. I was like, OMG. They were the palest blue I ever seen!

Than our conversation flipped-flopped about L and I, Arizona, the school here and finally she asked for our number and she wrote it on her hand.

She hugged me again, and she hugged L, which...surprised me, because he hates being touched.

He was and still is, more obsessed with her than I am.

Than we came home, which rocked, because THE EFFING TREADMILL WAS HERE, and a sewing machine! It was amazing.

Than we awaited her phone call. She didn't call that night, and L was worried, but I told him that it all happened for a reason, and she was just as nervous or MORE than we were.

So, the next day, yesterday, we plotted a walk to find her after school.

After a half hour in the pouring rain, we went down to the ocean, got coffee, talked and looked out at the ferry.
L asked what would I do right now if you were on that ferry, and I said, "the same thing I'd do if you were on that ferry, L."

I'd jump into the sea and follow it to shore. I don't care if I froze to death.
I'd do anything for you both.

We walked back up the hills to find her walking, or getting off the bus and for another 30-45 minutes in the 30 degree air and rain, we didn't find her and went home.

Damon, ASHTONDOO, came over and he gave me a birthday present! I almost cried. I love him so much! <3

We had a great time, and had to go to Derrick's aunt's last night.
We waited by our phone the whole time.

Still no call. L is getting discouraged, and it's almost...almost making me jealous, but, I won't ever tell him.

I feel bad because..As much as she seemed awesome and I'd LOVE to be friends with her...I...only really persued the entire situation because...I wanted, in some crazy way, that when I saw her, she'd turn into you.

I only want you, Rachel.

Ahhh....our crazy lives.

I think I'm going to go exercise, than draw countless pictures for you.
Maybe start up some commissions like you said, and get that dress....so I can look spectacular for my Princess when she comes home.

...When you come back, Rachel, and you hurt...I'll be there beside you, hurting. Helping, loving you.
When you're wondering what to do, I'll embrace you and give you any ideas.

...When you're lonely, I'll love you.
I'll be the one to try and make you smile again.

No-one is you, can be you.

I...want to love you, Rachel Young. For all of time.

<3

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v490/AngryPrncess/Photos/?action=view¤t=DSCN04090472.flv

= RIDUCULOUS RANDOM VIDEO OF ME

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

4:45 pm

L just gave me a tarot reading...

And my God....I still can't believe it.

I have alot of stuff to talk about, but....I really need to sit and reflect on this.
I'll tell you all about the exciting news later!

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

11:56 am

LP
Finally got to scan this little boy right here!

I know Lindsay has black markings, but I thought it would just take away from the image if I added them in, almost like, it was too distracting...?

If you disagree at all Anna, just let me know and I'll add them back in.

I'm in love with his face. :3

7 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

9:22 pm

Beave-Beave-Beaver Boys!

Beav-beav-beav-beaver boys!

<3

Greek festival was amazing! I took so many videos of all the beautiful dancers! There was this slightly chubby boy with a white shirt on who danced with a glass ontop of his head and he was just ASTOUNDING. I loved him so much!

There were SO MANY YUMMY FOODS THERE. But I ate nothing. I can't eat....any Baklava or gyros or anything because I'm allergic to gluten, UGH. THESMELLS! So I drank coffee!

Dr. T gave Lucien a pin of a golden cross and it made him very happy! I even saw a baby that looked JUST LIKE CAIDENCE! And she was doing the scrunched up-angry face that Caidence did for a whole month straight! Kehehe....<3

We got to sit in this Greek Orthodox church and just...start at the murals and painted ceiling.
It was so amazing.

Today was just flawless! Saw the most amazing drawing from my Princess, Got to play with Lucien, watch Stranger Than Fiction ((AND I LOVED IT)), go to an amazing Greek festival, come home and cook some potato wedges (which will be ready in 10 minutes!)and now Lucien's aunt is giving me her sewing machine so I CAN START MAKING SOME NEW DRESSES!

Now I need some cute fabric and I'll hopefully be able to make a new sweet lolita dress. <3

I'm also saving up to get....this stunning gothic lolita dress off of eBay.
PrincessNG, who haven't had any dresses up in about 2 years, just BOMBARDED their eBay shop with GORGEOUS dresses from the Flying Fish co. (Closest to my heart. I got my first dress from them) ONLY 72 DOLLARS.

I'm dying. To my name I only have....78 dollars. 50 is in checks and the rest is like, all the cash money we have.

...So, I'm like, INADELEMA. I know it's selfish to want something like this, but I haven't bought myself new clothes in over a year, and I haven't gotten a dress in over 2 years.

This, in all of life, is the only material possession that I enjoy.

Mmrrr....Maybe for Christmas! We'll see!

IMGUNNAGOEAT!

I love you guys!

glimpsed the foreboding end.

12:14 pm

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveherilovehimiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyoiiloveyou

glimpsed the foreboding end.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

10:30 am

Say What You Wanna Say
I am so excited right now!

I've FINALLY found a new band I like, after about...5 years of the same music.

They're so gay, like old Fall Out Boy.

Hit the Lights

OhmyGod, your anthems for teenagers make me want to walk the streets at night again.
All your guitar riffs and upbeat sadness.

<3 Seriously. I am so gay it's not even funny.
I LOVE Rick Astley. That's all that needs to be said.

And I never know...
Where you like to go when you're all alone
And why you can't be reached, does anybody know?
You're breaking up again,
Are you listening to anything I've said?

Tell me where you are
And I'll find you
Tell me what it takes to see this through
Tell me what it takes to get to you
And I'll be there waiting

WE'RE GOING TO THE PARK!

And guess what else?!
I requested Gothic and Lolita ((http://www.phaidon.com/Default.aspx/Web/gothic-and-lolita-9780714847856)) from the Library!
I'm so excited. I can't wait till it gets there!

4 Unicorns glimpsed the foreboding end.

Monday, September 29th, 2008

1:25 am

Angelique's PokéPet

Carl Jr. the level 43 Jirachi!

glimpsed the foreboding end.

[ << Previous 20 ]

I want to make you as lonely as me

About LiveJournal.com

Customize

Advertisement